Dwayne "The Mod" Johnson

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Dwayne Johnson has been overindulging recently and so he will not be able to partake in the new "survival in the jungle while wearing beige shorts and shorts as a strong and stoic leader" movie. His new hobby is no longer lifting a single eyebrow at the camera - not because its boring, because he is physically unable to. His new hobby is now what he calls "a full time, unpaid, discord moderator job." The text below is from a recent interview between our ex employee and The Mod: "Hey, are you there? Haha.. I know this may sound cheesy, but.. I just really love you. I love everything about you. Whenever I see you online.. I can't help but smile. Seeing you is enough to make me flustered. Seriously, how could such an angelic person such as you be my friend? I really don't deserve you. You're so perfect.. my discord kitten. I'm in love with you. You're the light of my life. Without you, I would've never been this happy. Can we talk more? I enjoy your company. Can we call more? I like listening to your voice. Can we just be with each other for a little longer? I love you so much. I'm sorry if I don't reply, discord daddy needs to do his discord mod work. But don't worry, kitten. I will reply to you ASAP. Haha.. let me get to the point. Can we be... more than friends? Can you be... more than.. just my discord kitten? I want you to be my girlfriend. If not, that's fine.. not like it matters.. haha. I respect whatever you say. But I just really want you to be my girlfriend. I can be…